grammar school in the 1960s
dull cloth blazer
not the shiny sort
me
calling our dining room the kitchen
during a french lesson
me
crickets nets?
fives courts?
what is confidence?
why is everyone so tall?
and religion in the hall
and readings in the chapel
sunday school
me
the man under the gymnasium
in the workshop
mending desks
with his white apron stained
fishy wood glue
desk lids inked with the past
boys
why is there a girls entrance
in a boys only school?
fights in the yard
gowned chalk-smooth masters
pulling ears into detention
or the cane
when the headmaster’s light turned green
and in you went
and out you came
tight lipped in shame
like when you walked the rows of desks
after the slipper was applied
pride tight lipped
beside the misted windows
hands gripping the thick radiator
silvered by time’s boring brush
me
did we fit in?
with the other classes
in the other form rooms
housemaster as foreign a concept
at the dark side of the moon
me
in the stone-dumb edifice standing
room only for tradition is
the well-trodden paths
the glittering prizes
no surprises
me
getting by
and bye and bye
goodbye
another path running into the sand
the fanned breezes of childhood
closing back into a shellac stick
the promises that were displayed
like a peacock
ill timed peradventure
perhaps not
me
the warm sun on the back
of a retreating blazer
school badge threadbare
cap gone missing long ago
short trousers now as long as
the lonely walk of failure
it was as implicit as the golden boys
shining in their new dawns
the moonlight pale
me
on my way
to nowhere in particular
post particular
grammatically incorrect
my word
oh my word
me?
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