Thursday, 26 December 2024

alone again

 alone again


as a child he always thought

he wanted to be a lighthouse keeper 

when the candle for a shepherd piffed out

when the fish were no longer taking the bait

and the rabbit gun no longer the company it was 

across the heathland in the sun above the mist 


time was he thought he had time to decide when

suddenly the answer no longer fitted the question

although the wild places were still calling

the misty way still beckoning far away

the tiny pebble with a kiss inside

warm fumbling in his pocket


somewhere

down the back of his neck

way down behind his heart

there was an unopened room

the key at the end of a paper chase 

of pay slips and mortgage statements


now in the shallowing breaths of time

as his arms stretched his fingers could

could  could  almost reach that key 

but no one cheered him on

not even his desperate tears 

could percolate into that room

not one sunbeam escaped

at no time was time alone 

allowed to be just

alone


when the lost sheep bleated

the lighthouse still flashed

baleful   baleful   baleful

were the words

to his mind 

if only one moment 

inside that room 

were allowed

then maybe he

could make sense of this finality

when finally was finally allowed to be

all alone


as he was meant to be

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